The Game High: Fantasy Leagues

So it's now been a full week of recovery for Chicago football fans. In that time, we've bid our season goodbye and found other ways to distract ourselves from football. But for some football junkies, the NFL season isn't fully over until the Pro Bowl game is played.

So we're just going to have to wait another 7 months before we can see Sean Taylor blowing up punters in meaningless games.

But never fear, the sporting world offers a bountiful spread of games for our viewing pleasure. Whether it's the Bulls second west coast trip, baseball spring training, Kevin Durant and Greg Oden highlights, or the impending NCAA March Madness, it's not too difficult to keep oneself saturated in sports.

The only considerable drop off is in the fantasy sports world, where nothing truly compares to fantasy football. So for those truly hard up for some fantasy sports, ESPN now offers Fantasy Fishing! That's right. Registration is now open for Fantasy Fishing 2007, with the biggest tournament of the year just around the corner - the 2007 Bassmaster Classic in Birmingham, Alabama. Go get your fish on.

Dear Santa,

I realize there's only a few remaining days before your jolly red posterior comes sliding down my chimney this year, but I was hoping you would take my Christmas wish list under consideration. It's not a list really, but a single item whose acquisition may require the use of time travel. But I figure if you can get your sleigh to cover the earth in a single night, then you're the one who can make this happen. So here goes:

All I want for Christmas is a sports almanac covering the next 50 years in sports, 2007 through 2057.

Now, you're probably suspicious of my intentions for wanting such an item. But I can assure you than I will not use this book for outrageous monetary gains. I promise I will not build an evil casino empire like Biff Tannen did in "Back to the Future II" when he used the Grays Sports Almanac.

Still, you must wonder, why am I willing to sacrifice one of the greatest benefits of following any sport, which is, to not know the outcome? Consider the excitement of pre-game anticipation, the in-game rush of adrenaline, and the post-game feelings of elation or sadness. All of this would be gone. Without the unexpected nature and uncertainty of sport, none of these emotions are possible.

Well, here is my answer. I have had it with not knowing. I am sick and tired of investing countless hours every week pouring over stat lines, injury reports, team analysis, and ESPN SportsCenter episodes only to lose to some scrub, fantasy football team who just happened to start Desmond Clark at TE last week (125 yards, 2 TDs) or some other one-week wonder. Therefore, I wish to begin a reign of domination upon all fantasy sports leagues, specifically NFL football and any NCAA bracket pools, that has never before been witnessed by this world.

Opposing teams will shudder in terror at my seemingly uncanny ability to make weekly waiver-wire pickup after pickup that always comes up smelling like roses. Nothing will feel better to me than my ability to back-up all the trash-talking I will be doing in my league forums. Although, I won't get cocky. For instance, had I used the almanac last week, I could have picked up and started Tim Rattay (268 yards, 3 TDs) at my QB position, even though he was riding the bench for the first 30 minutes of his game at Soldiers Field.

And with all the hours I will be saving not agonizing over fantasy sports, I pledge to reinvest this newly available time into my family and friendships. And isn't that what the Christmas spirit is all about?

So please Santa, give me this one Christmas miracle. Oh, if you could please tear out the pages of the almanac covering this years NFL playoffs, that would be great. I've got a bad feeling about the playoff-bound Bears, but I can't take knowing what will happen to them.

Sincerely,

One good little boy.