The Game High

Pillow Fight Club

Looking for some live sporting action that doesn't include either of Chicago's baseball teams?  Bored watching illegal dog fights with Michael Vick?  Do you find strip clubs and mud/jell-o wrestling too degrading to the female gender?  Well, look no further!  Joe's Bar in Chicago is now hosting a classy event known as the Pillow Fight Club. 

Four teams...Sixteen scantily clad women...Hilarity...Sex...Violence. Its all here and packaged in a high-energy showcase where the feathers will really fly.

So listen up all you suburban social neophytes.  Take a break from your speed dating, alumni binge drinking, and cornhole league to spend yet another night at Joe's.

Sadly, these fights do not end in female-on-female sex.

Amateur Hour: Police Man vs. Pot Brownies

Any doping athlete in the world knows you don't eat all the brownies at once, man!  Where is a Cincinnati Bengal when you need him?

It's abundantly clear that we don't put law enforcement employees through a Drug Consumption 101 class.  But how can we conduct a war on drugs when our soldiers can't even handle the effects?

Lance Briggs to enter International Mr. Leather Contest

Even though he was expectedly absent from the Bears mini-camp last week, Lance Briggs has kept himself busy training for the 29th annual International Mr. Leather contest.  The city of Chicago will once again be hosting the gala event, May 24th through the 28th, and Lance can't wait to break out his leather ensemble. 

An amicable Briggs exasperated:

"Ever since the 1985 Bears put out 'The Junk Yard Dogs' poster, I've always had the desire to wear a dog collar.  My leather collection has long been buried deep in the back of my closet and now it needs to come out and breathe.  I can't be more excited."

Added super agent, Drew Rosenhaus:

"Not only has my client proven his ability to take down the opponent on the football field, to the tune of 130 tackles last year alone, he is demonstrating his versatility off the field as well.  The National Football League can't contain Lance Briggs.  The league is exactly what it says - 'National'.  Lance Briggs is 'International', as in 'Mr. Leather.'"

At this point, it remains unclear how Lance's experience as a 5-year NFL vet will translate into the tightly competitive world of leather, since Brian Urlacher will NOT be there to protect him.

And Here Come The Bulls

Umm, wasn't this series supposed to be over with?  Not according to Ben Wallace's unfurled afro.  Facing elimination for the second consecutive game, the Bulls trampled the Pistons, en route to a 108-92 Game 5 victory.

So what have we learned after Game 5?

Lesson #1.  The longer you keep Flip Saunders in a playoff series, the higher your odds of an upset.

When two teams play each other for 5 consecutive games, there aren't many surprises left between the opposing players.  Everyone becomes intimately familiar with player tendencies, strengths, and weaknesses.  After this point, it comes down to coaching.  Given Saunders' woeful history of playoff exits with the Minnesota Timberwolves, my money is on Skiles.  And how great would it be for Flip Saunders and the Pistons franchise to author the greatest collapse in NBA playoff history?

Lesson #2.  Winning on Detroit's home court is not an issue for these Bulls.

The last time the Bulls won a playoff elimination game on the road was in 1989, in a came commonly referred to as "The Shot".  You might remember it.  Craig Ehlo, in his nightmares, certainly does.

The Pistons lost 15 games at home in the regular season and the town of Detroit may seem like a wasteland, but it's only a short distance from Chicago.  So if the Bulls somehow take this series to a Game 7, please refer to lesson #1.

Lesson #3.  The Bulls are gradually gaining ground on the Pistons superiority.

Games 1 and 2 were blowout losses for the Bulls.  Game 3, the Bulls blew a 19-point potential blowout and lost.  Game 4, the Bulls blew a double-digit lead, but held on for the win.  Game 5, the Bulls won in a blowout, where they maintained a sizable lead throughout the second half.  In Skiles can keep his Bulls aggressive, look for this trend to continue.

Abomina-BULL Snowjob

With last night's epic collapse against the Pistons, the Bulls are teetering on the brink of playoff elimination.  Just when I thought the Bulls penchant for blowing double leads was limited to the regular season, they go out and blow a 19 point lead in a playoff game en route to a 81-74 loss. 

If there's anything these so-called Baby Bulls can take solace in, it's that they will have been eliminated from the playoffs in successive years by the eventual NBA champions.  The rest of the league has taken notice of the Bulls gritty, high-energy playing style, and playoff caliber teams are not going to be caught off-guard anymore.  In the 2006 playoffs, the Heat's near first-round loss against the Bulls forced them to become more focused as a team.  Likewise, heading into this playoff series against the Bulls, the Pistons overall team focus has been sharpened immensely.  If Detroit maintains their level of defense and clutch shooting, there's nothing holding them back from a championship.

So where does this leave our Bulls?  Have they morphed into some kind of symbiotic relationship with teams aspiring to win the championship?  That is, you want to play the Bulls because it forces your team to raise it's level of play and team focus.  Are the Bulls merely the bird who cleans the teeth of the alligator before it can better hunt bigger prey?  And without a true low-post presence, now matter how hard the Bulls play, they are ultimately beatable.

Now, the concepts of "team focus" and "level of play" are somewhat vague.  The average NBA fan might find it disconcerting that most NBA teams can coast through the regular season and selectively choose to "turn it on" come playoff time.  The Bulls, however, have been groomed/driven to play at a high level of play all year.  You always hear opposing coaches say something along the lines of "no one plays harder than the Bulls".  But in today's NBA landscape, and as the Bulls will once again learn, over-achievement will only get you so far.

Bulls vs. Pistons Playoff Preview

The genetic evolution of the NBA game is on stage, front and center, in the 2007 Playoffs.  We are all witness to the growing dominance of guard play and the diminishing role of the traditional big man.  The Raptors, Heat, Magic, all teams with an All-Star forward or center, have been eliminated from the playoffs.  And Yao and his Rockets could soon be joining them.  That leaves only the Spurs, with Tim Duncan, as the only remaining team with a strong low-post presence.  Given this trend, who is to say that a Bulls versus Suns NBA Finals  is not a distinct possibility?

To get there, the Bulls must first get past their all-time franchise nuisance, the Detroit Pistons.  If you believe the regular season matters (Exhibit A:  Golden State crushing the Mavs in the regular season and first round), then the Bulls should handle the Pistons in the playoffs.  Whoever wins this series basically gets a free ticket to the NBA Finals since the winner of the Cavs/Nets series isn't going to beat either of these teams in a 7 game series.

That being said, the Bulls "have their work cut out for them" (where did that sports cliche originate?) in this series.  Much like sitting through an hour-long depressive episode of "The Sopranos", followed by an uplifting half-hour of "Entourage", this series is going to get ugly before it turns good.  With Hamilton, Sheed, Webber, and Billups barking at the refs after every call and trading barbs in the media, the antics surrounding the game itself could become most distracting.  The challenge for the Bulls will be to keep their focus and edge on-court amidst all the peripheral garbage.

The only spectacle worse than watching the Pistons bitch and moan their way to a series win would be to witness a woman breast feeding in the stands (something I've actually had the privilege to see).  Nothing wrong with it in the work place, but the only titties exposed at an NBA game should belong to the cheerleaders.  And even then, only certain cities should be allowed.  Have you seen some of the haggard team "dancers" around the league? 

Anyway, where were we?  Oh, yes, predicting the Bulls - Pistons series.  Because the first round prediction wasn't exactly accurate, superstition holds that predicting a Pistons series victory assures the Bulls will make the Conference Finals.  Well, it ain't happening here.

PREDICTION:  BULLS over PISTONS in 6, with the defeated Detroit players showing a bit more respect than the last time we swept the Bad Boys out of the playoffs (see Isaiah Thomas).